It cannot be understated.
Yet I have realized that, after two nearly two years, I’ve never written about it.
After my husband, I have best friends-in-the-whole-wide-world.
BFINTWWW love me as much as I love them.
I can not talk to them for weeks, but always know that they are there for me.
And, individually or collectively, they seem to always be coming up with things for us to do, places to go, bucket list items to cross off, and other ways of filling life with beauty so large that it blots out the bad stuff.
They are the ones who call me after I’ve been in hibernation.
The ones who have such a great capacity to love that they of course have many other friends. But they make me feel special and loved. And not because I have HD. They either knew me before I became aware of the HD and have made the choice to stick around or they have gotten to know the parts of me that peek around the HD and accept the me that I am.
Sometimes I think about the people who have discarded me but I do not miss them the way I used to before I realized that I was only doing the best with what I’ve been dealt.
People have just stopped talking to me and never acknowledged my words again. My usefulness or value to some people has expired. I have been cut loose because I “made the same mistakes over and over without growing from them.” I have been let go because I was not positive enough. I have received bitter diatribes because I no longer properly embody the role that was originally cast for me. When I look back at my life and my friendships, I readily admit that I was a pretty shitty excuse for a friend sometimes.
But all I can do is try to do better going forward.
And in the spirit of moving forward, today and every day, I thank the special people who have chosen to love me. The people who make my life whole and worth living.
I am simply blessed.