My fair share of wonderful people have passed through my life since Huntington’s disease ensnarled me.
Passed through my life, like came in and helped me and left.
I don’t do too well when they leave. They leave for professional and family-related reasons, not because of me. But they all go. All except for my kick-ass therapist.
One social worker helped me through the nightmare of testing and diagnosis and what to do then.
She went away and I cried.
Another social worker helped me get my disability. She worked by my side for a couple of years, until, just after my appeal.
Then she went away and I cried again.
My psychiatrist quit practicing altogether and I still cry about that on a bad day.
And today I found out that another social worker, who has been an amazing, positive force in my life is moving away to his happily ever after.
I am happy for him, but I am crying again.
Everybody leaves. Everybody GETS to leave.
Except me. I have to stay fused to HD. I cannot extricate myself for a higher paycheck, a better life, or for the greater good.
And I have found a way to resent all of those people who have left. How dare they not be stuck here with me! How dare they have a means and an opportunity to escape!
How dare they leave me alone.
But I know I am not alone. I have my family and friends (and the kick-ass therapist) who deserve to be treasured.
And I do treasure them.
I guess if I could boil it all down to something tangible, I’d wish HD was my job, too.
So I could quit.