Quitting HD

My fair share of wonderful people have passed through my life since Huntington’s disease ensnarled me.

Passed through my life, like came in and helped me and left.

I don’t do too well when they leave. They leave for professional and family-related reasons, not because of me. But they all go. All except for my kick-ass therapist.

One social worker helped me through the nightmare of testing and diagnosis and what to do then.

She went away and I cried.

Another social worker helped me get my disability. She worked by my side for a couple of years, until, just after my appeal.

Then she went away and I cried again.

My psychiatrist quit practicing altogether and I still cry about that on a bad day.

And today I found out that another social worker, who has been an amazing, positive force in my life is moving away to his happily ever after.

I am happy for him, but I am crying again.

Everybody leaves. Everybody GETS to leave.

Except me. I have to stay fused to HD. I cannot extricate myself for a higher paycheck, a better life, or for the greater good.

And I have found a way to resent all of those people who have left. How dare they not be stuck here with me! How dare they have a means and an opportunity to escape!

How dare they leave me alone.

But I know I am not alone. I have my family and friends (and the kick-ass therapist) who deserve to be treasured.

And I do treasure them.

I guess if I could boil it all down to something tangible, I’d wish HD was my job, too.

So I could quit.

 

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4 thoughts on “Quitting HD

  1. I’ve thought that many times… How different it is to be involved on the outside looking in ….. Vs. on the inside looking out.
    So well stated and described.
    I so wish you could quit the HD biz …….
    Love u sis sis
    Love sister sister

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish I can quit HD too. I wish I can have a better life and enjoying life. I have a strong feeling for these few weeks that I may develop a new symptom. I am not sharing on my Facebook timeline as my Singapore friends can see it. My teacher friends do not want me to go back to US. Always loving you

    Like

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