The long farewell

It’s always been the cognitive losses that scare me.

I wonder, if I lose my ability to speak or communicate, if I will also lose my ability to relish the good in life.

I have been taking mental snapshots every day of things that I enjoy and people that bring me happiness and I try to overlap my perseverating mind with this imagery in the hope that I can sear these experiences into my long term memory.

There is so much in my life to be happy about right now. I am head over heels in love with my husband. All of my children are healthy and well. I live in the house that I love.

My life has been enriched with more and better friendships than I ever thought possible.

And I am going places with people I care about. That is one of the greatest blessings of all.

This blog is especially precious to me. It has connected me with people all over the world. WordPress statistics show me the countries everyone is from and, while I love readers from everywhere, I always cheer if I see familiar, far away readers, like the people in South Africa, Russia, and the one person from the Isle of Man. When I check and see that the person from the Isle of Man has read my post, I get a rush of adrenaline and exclaim, “Yes!!”  I wish I could teleport to the Isle of Man just to meet this person and hear his or her story.

On a smaller scale, I am wringing out every last bit of flavor from each bite of ice cream. Cataloging each good vibe I get, and pulling together the experiences of a happy life.

I am enjoying the good and am trying to bank it, because I have nothing to lose.

Except the memory.

 

 

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7 thoughts on “The long farewell

  1. Sarah -sis sis
    You are describing the true meaning and joy of life. Your disability has fast forwarded your ability to truly be in the present. Every time we ( jock and I ) have open heart surgery we are propelled into the reality of living every present moment to its greatest capacity. It is the bi-product of having disease and disability as a part of daily life.
    Your appreciation of all that ” is” …… is why I love you so fully heart and soul …. Thru and thru .
    I want to spend EVERY Summer with you for the rest of OUR lives ! I love you so sweetly!
    Your sister sister
    DK

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I looked up “Isle of Man”:) interesting. I had not heard of it before. It looks like it would be a great place to travel to:) There seems to be quite a few cases of HD in the Great Britain area. I am in correspondence with a fella in Wales, whose wife has the disease

    Hugs to you

    Liked by 1 person

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