Flinders

 

My fingers don’t want to write, be still, or pick up things.

My mouth doesn’t want to speak, smile or relax.

My body doesn’t want to move when it does

My body  wants to move when it doesn’t.

I am losing my personality and ability to express myself.

I forgot what I did five minutes ago.

I cannot control my cravings and impulses.

I miss something so bad it hurts, but I don’t know what it is.

I think it’s me.

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4 thoughts on “Flinders

  1. Sarah… …two days ago I kept going back and forth to my computer diary to recall the name of a client about to come in for treatment about 6 times.
    Today whilst driving my friend to lunch I was thinking, what if it’s warm in the restaurant, what if I want to take off my leather jacket, what top did I have on underneath, what if it was a sleeveless top, one that would show my flabby skin around the tops of my nearly 50 year old arms? I had to keep looking down at my top to recall what I was wearing!?! About a dozen times, I knew I was doing it but I could nt retain it in my mind.
    Reassured it was one with three quarter length arms, finally it was cold so left the jacket on.
    Aft the restaurant I ordered the food, enjoyed the food, the conversation, spoke with some other people, complimented the chef, worked out the bill, paid up, and drove home having a full conversation as I did.

    You are not the same you as you used to be in some ways, but you are the same you in loads of ways. You definitely haven’t lost your personality that has shone through in just five minutes of me coming to know you, and you have definitely not lost your ability to express yourself Sarah, you have just expressed enormous insight, recognition, sentiment, pain loss and understanding… …I know intelligent people who never in their life’s work have they been able to show the same level of understanding insight and feelings as you have done in so few sentences… …and with the premeditated and desired impact that you have done… … I know exactly how you feel, because of you and your descriptive ability.
    I miss the me that was Free more than anything. The pain and loss is crucifying some times. Xxx I totally agree with Vana xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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